Tapas Valencia in the South Loop – superb!

When you try a restaurant for the first time and it knocks your socks off with tasty specialty drinks, good service, pleasant ambiance and food so delicious that you can’t wait to go back and try everything on their menu — that is a wonderful experience. To go back a second and then a third time to find that the experience is consistently excellent is even better. This is Tapas Valencia, a chic dining spot in Chicago’s South Loop.

Granted, it is a little off the beaten path, but if more folks knew how glorious this restaurant is, they would beat a path to its doorway. Tapas Valencia is in the ever-more-popular area just south of downtown. It’s easy to get to at 1530 South State Street. Watch for it – it’s easy to fly by it; and then going around the block, a very long block, especially in rush hour traffic, can be frustrating. In any case, once you arrive and are greeted by friendly hosts in a warm and welcoming environment, the drive there will have been worth it.

To get there from the Loop, drive south on State Street. Look for it on your right; just before the valet parking sign is a classy looking multi-unit residence. Slow down as soon as you spot the viaduct ahead, however, for free parking on the street, which is almost unheard-of in downtown Chicago.

The bar is often bustling with people swilling gorgeous drinks. The dining room is roomy and comfortable. Ottmar Liebert’s music playing softly in the background is the perfect dinner music.

Try the colorful specialty drinks; they taste as good as they look. The servers treat customers like gold. But what’s most important at any restaurant is the food. And happily, the food is amazing. The tapas are creative, presentation is fancy, and best of all, this is the type of food you’ll want to savor. Take your time here: Sip the drinks, treat yourself to appetizers, savor the main course tapas and deserts; it’s heavenly! Even more impressive: Tapas Valencia donates part of its proceeds to important causes.

Tapas Valencia is like a work of art: From the art of good service to the modern ambiance to the artfully done food and drink, Tapas Valencia is a culinary adventure that will have you coming back for more. This author looks forward to going back some time on a Saturday night for the live flamenco dancers.

Heads up: Keep tabs on their special events. Tapas Valencia will be participating in Restaurant Week and will also offer a romance-infused Valentine’s Day dinner.

Make your own designer scent

There are so many fragrances in the world. Every year, more flood the market, usually by designers or celebrities. But what about a special scent just for you?

At times, I found perfumes I adored enough to wear often as my “signature scent” – for a while. None truly satisfied in the long run. Their allure wore off; they weren’t 100 percent me. My shelves are lined with bottles of perfumes collected over the years, but I came to crave a more personal scent. Perhaps you’ve felt this way too.

Then a friend and I discovered Aroma Workshop (which caters to guys as well as gals) in Chicago while shopping the charming area along Armitage near Halsted. And recently, she scored a Groupon to get us a special deal to attend a class there where we could create our own perfumes and, with our Groupon, get the larger size bottles of our own perfume to take home with us.

Being planners, we both arrived early, eager to smell all the scents available to get a bit of a head start before class started. I also brought with me a couple of scent lists with my own ideas. But none of that was really necessary, because they have a well-thought-out, well-organized process. Once class starts, they give you plenty of time to smell the scents, which is appreciated, because there are many, and this isn’t a project you want to be rushed through. You are not battling with others or waiting to smell each scent, because each classmate has all the scents in front of them. Note cards are handed out to mark one’s top ten favorites from four categories: sweet, flowery, exotic and fresh.

Funny what you can learn about yourself and your friends while doing this. After years of hanging out with my girlfriend, I learned she strongly prefers the aroma of flowers. I didn’t think I liked flower scents – not on myself – but some of them smelled so good, I ended up picking a couple of flower scents for my top ten list.

A perfumer mixes three samples, each with a combination of three of your favored scents. Next, it’s time to smell each prototype — each being distinctive since nine out of your ten chosen scents are used in this process — and decide which of the combinations is your very favorite. From there, the perfumer makes your bottle of perfume.

The shop keeps your list and your final choice on file. This way, you can go back for the other combinations or to restock your own designer scent and buy additional products. And if you wish, you can name your scent. One of the scents mixed for me was very nostalgic: I sniffed deeply and closed my eyes; I was whisked way back into the past, and it made me smile. Scents have the power to do that. And now that I have my personal perfume, I can be transported to that magic place any time.

The store features several types of unscented lotions and creams, bath gels and bath bombs to which you can have your custom perfume added. I got a bath bomb and sparkly lotion, but I wish I’d picked up the bath gel too, because I want it all. I’ll just have to go back! Maybe I’ll see you there. Smell you later!

Live the life you want, starting now (part three)

Happy New Year! Have you made your New Year’s resolutions? Do you think you’ll stick to them this year? You may start out all revved up, but will your engine maintain the initiative to power through the next few months? Instead of playing that losing game again this year, I recommend a different approach, one that will keep you on track and will work!

Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” There are two parts to that equation for success: dreaming and doing. Now that you have dreamed up your ideal life ( read part one in this series and follow instructions) and banished your inner nay-say’er from the kingdom of your life (check out part two in this series to get in the right mind frame), it’s time to take each goal and break it down into manageable steps. Write down your road map to the life you wish in every facet of your life that needs improvement.

Develop willpower, reward your triumphs along the way – even if it’s just a pat on the back you give yourself, keep striving no matter what! Deflect excuses (such as “I’m too tired tonight”) and don’t allow others to derail you either (i.e., if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t give in, no matter how your friends coax and tempt you; avoid those sweets!)

Realize that structure is important to set and attain goals; being vague won’t work as well, if at all. Establish a detailed timeline (i.e., I will lose 10 pounds by January 31), a specific plan/how you will reach your goal (research, plan, map out your path to your goal), measure (i.e., for the weight loss goal, weigh yourself regularly, have someone hold you accountable, record your progress), and stick with your strategy. Most important: If you should fall short of your objective, instead of getting down on yourself, muster up the aggression of a charging bull and lunge again headlong toward your goals. Depression, the blues, anxiety, worry, self-effacement: None of these have any place in your life, and certainly do not let them control you. YOU rule your life! This is your life: take charge.

In the meantime, along with a to-do list of stuff you ought to be doing every day to start making your dreams come true, add to that list the things you love doing. For example, that could be dancing, though maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve actually gone out dancing. Dance to at least one whole song a day that moves you! If you will also be working out to improve your image and fitness and health, this will help with your dancing. Dancing can be a workout itself. Most important: You enjoy it. If you want to take it to the next level, dance classes might be for you. Perhaps you’ll one day find yourself dancing out on the town again.

The important thing, however, is to do what you love, EVERY DAY! This feeds your soul in so many ways. This keeps joy in your daily life, even when the going gets tough. At the end of the day when you lay your head down, even if you failed to meet a goal, you can at least smile, because you got to something you enjoy.

One more thing: Surprise, your dreams may change! Let say you start out with a dream to make it to the top of the corporate ladder, then you get there and realize you’re not enjoying that lifestyle as you thought you would and you’d rather be living in the country growing your own sustainable garden with a spouse and ten adopted kids from all over the world. That’s okay! Follow your heart. Trust your heart; it will steer you in the right direction.

In fact, your body is part of what makes up your whole being, and – not to scare you, but people have been known to have heart attacks or develop diseases while on the wrong path, and once realizing this and turning their lives around, become perfectly healthy again. You may think that sounds like a miracle, but it’s really just being in tune to yourself, being true to yourself; show some self-respect! So keep in close touch with the inner you: Are you becoming happier and happier? Is a sense of calm, contentment and inner peace illuminating ever brighter within you?

Yes you can live the life you want. Start TODAY doing something you love. And also start today – yes, today, not tomorrow – working toward your ideal life. Get busy and stay happy. You can do this. I wish you your happiest New Year yet and a whole happy life ahead!

Yes you can live the life you want (part two)

Now that the New Year is here, ask yourself: What do you want this New Year and the rest of your life to be like? If you read and incorporated the ideas in the first of this three-part series — visualizing your dream life in your mind’s eye and getting it down on paper, in detail — you’re just about ready to start making it happen. Do that now. And then, to ensure your success — or at least make sure you don’t trip yourself up with negative concepts — let’s cast away doubts.

This would include changing your mind about time: Probably you feel there are not enough hours in the day to do what you’ve got to do, much less pursue your dreams. Time is relative; make it work for you! Learn and utilize good time management techniques. And shy away from time wasters, like watching TV during all your off hours. Sure, we all need to relax regularly and who doesn’t appreciate being entertained, but what a pathetic existence it would be to virtually live one’s whole life through the lives of others on TV, simply being a spectator. That isn’t real living.

Another hang-up about time is you may feel you’re “too old” and that your best years, your glory days, are over. Rubbish! They are if you say they are — so stop saying that. As long as you’re here, it’s your responsibility to make the most of the rest of your life. Research those who were late bloomers: Grandma Moses, (artist), Peter Roget (developed the Thesaurus), Harland (“Colonel”) Sanders (of Kentucky Fried Chicken) to name just a few; these are folks who were, as far as the world could tell, failures until they were in their 60’s and 70’s! And even if you have had a successful life and now that it’s behind and you fear whatever is next would be anti-climactic, nonsense. You can reinvent yourself! What haven’t you done yet that you have always wanted to do?

You must also come to grips with money — don’t we all! — but in a fresh way. How much would you like? How much would you need to live the life you imagine? Why don’t you have that money now? Perhaps you have an attitude about money that’s hurting you: On some deep subconscious level, do you feel you don’t deserve money? Do you resent people with money? Then you’ve got a money attitude problem. Explore this within yourself. Check out books that speak to this subject.

There’s plenty of money in the world, and you deserve a piece of the pie, a nice big luscious slice if you wish! How can you get that money? There are many roads to money, some hidden; seek them out, find them!

You may discover that in order to get the job you want (to make good money), you’d need a fuller education. Going back to school can be costly, especially if you are struggling now to make ends meet and dare not even imagine how hopeless your retirement years might be. So find a way to fund school, be it grants, scholarships, tuition reimbursement from your employer or some other type of support. It’s out there; use it. The wealthy can afford school and the economically-challenged receive financial aid — but there are resources for the middle class: Do your research, dig them out, utilize them.

Do you feel like you lack energy? Then get some energy. Motivation makes you feel energetic; get motivated. Keep envisioning yourself living the life you really want. Such inspiration will motivate you. Energy begets energy: Get moving, move around, start an exercise program (easy does it if you’re not used to exercising); meditate, take naps, take vitamins, and maybe consider nootropics or energy drinks. To do things that you enjoy is self-energizing. Get fit and healthy. You can have energy. Not having the energy to create a better life for yourself is a poor excuse to not live your life to the fullest; it’s a cop-out, one you would eventually regret.

Get rid of all your hang-ups: The illusory lack of time, money and anything else that stands on your shoulder like the devil and whispers “you can’t have what you want.” Yes you can! Say it out loud: “Yes I can!” Stay tuned for part three of this series. You are already on the path to your ideal life!

New Year’s Eve at the Palmer House, Chicago

New year, better life (part one)

The New Year is here! With each New Year, people the world over make New Year’s resolutions…that are not kept, or at least, not for long. Don’t fall into this trap of disappointing yourself (and possibly others) again this year. You’ve no doubt been there, done that, and it doesn’t feel good. In fact, it makes you feel bad — maybe even hopeless — and tears down your self-confidence. Here’s how to make the upcoming year and beyond your best, most fulfilling future possible.

Take a bit of you time, some quiet time; get out a hearty sized pad of paper and a pen and design a better life for yourself.

It goes without saying that life is tough, and if you’re not living the life you want, it’s up to you to get tough too and change that. It starts with you, no matter what your circumstances. You may feel trapped in a life not of your making – yet you did make this life. The decisions you made up till now, the people you strove to please (sometimes subconsciously; in fact, many people live out their lives trying to fulfill their parents’ expectations, which may not be a good fit for you personally, because you are not your parents, you are YOU) – you made your own choices, despite others’ influence, and whether or not you had enough money or time. No blaming allowed; take responsibility for where you are in your life now. This is such an important step to your success at what you wish to achieve and acquire, because you need to realize it’s up to you and only you.

New Year’s resolutions are not just for the young who are bursting with dreams and setting goals and perhaps wishing to climb to the top. In fact, resolutions are quite likely even more important to the older set for whom every moment seems more precious. So if you are not as young as you once were, especially if the future looks dim and you cannot muster up enthusiasm; and if you feel you’ve lost your joie de vivre, this is crucial. Here’s the good news: You are still here, so the opportunity exists to make your life all it can be, starting right where you are!

Now grab your pad and pen and get ready to create the life of your dreams! First, imagine your ideal life; pretend you’re living it now. If you really do that, you should find yourself smiling by the end of this exercise:

• What does your ideal life look like?
• What do you look like? How’s your image, your health, your fitness?
• What do you do for a living? How much money do you make in your ideal world?
• Where do you live?
• Do you have a mate, and what are they like? If you already do, could that relationship be better? Or would you prefer someone else because what you’ve got going now is just not making you happy and is not going to continue to work long-term?
• What is your family like and how are the dynamics in your ideal family? Needless to say, everyone should all get along and, even better, love each other. Sometimes this may seem impossible – but what if it weren’t? What if you could get along with your family and everyone could feel the love and bond that a good family should be able to enjoy – without drama? How can you start to make this happen? This will be a separate exercise – but don’t put it off – during which you will write down every member of your family and forgive them for whatever they did to you (or whatever you think they did to you) and forgive yourself as well. Often we jump to conclusions without checking in with the other person, and alienation results. But family is your roots: Honor your family. Gathering your family back together in a state of love and frequent communication can make for a life that feels more grounded.
• What are your friends like? Do you have enough? Do you have at least one “best friend”? “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket;” friendships can change and dissolve because people change and circumstances change. It’s good to have a few close friends to whom you can turn. And it’s also good to have a group of friends so you can get out there and run with the pack sometimes. Ideally, you should have friends (real friends with whom you can have deep, personal conversations and a mutual caring, trust and ideally respect for each other) and allies in every facet of your life: your personal life, at work and within whatever groups to which you belong.
• How’s your social/cultural life? If you live in a big city like Chicago, there is something to do every day and night of the week, so many places to check out, so much to experience. Even in small towns, there are special events. Show up! In the wilderness, there is a world of nature to explore. Don’t miss the party; live life fully!
• What do you like to do? What did you used to like to do? What did you enjoy as a child, as a teen, as a young adult? Find ways to incorporate what you love to do back into your life.
• What is your spiritual life like? What are your beliefs? They should serve you and the greater good. While you’re at it, resolve your fear of death. We’ve all got this problem, but there are some folks who have managed to dispel that fear. If they can, so can you. Imagine how nice it would feel to be free of this fear!
• Finally: Why are you here? Time for some soul-searching. What is your purpose? Or at least, what do you think it is? Better yet, what would you like it to be? Start there. Start fulfilling it TODAY.

Your ideal life is now on paper. In the next article in this three-part series, you will find the impetus to get going on bringing your ideal life to life.